At first, the thought of flying solo with my baby and toddler seemed utterly impossible. Through my conversations with other moms, I came to realize none of my friends had ever done it and no one wanted to try. Even my parents begged me to cancel my trip for fear that I would somehow harm their grandchildren. Flying solo with a baby and toddler looked like a “no go”. As a result, I did not feel confident in my plans at ALL but my in-laws insisted so I went against my better judgment and did it anyway. Sometimes we have to push through the discomfort to grow as people and mothers… this was definitely one of those times.
- The first step was booking the flight. If your husband is a cheapskate like mine and wants you to book a flight with a 4-hour layover DON’T DO IT! Plane changes with two kiddos can be challenging which is why I chose to avoid them altogether. The most cost-effective and time-efficient choice for me was a nonstop flight on Southwest Airlines. However, this meant that the flight was longer but 4 hours was not too long. Southwest does not have seat assignments but they do allow families to board after A list members which has worked well for us in terms of being seated together. I’ve had the most success with an evening flight that takes off around bedtime at 7 pm so that the boys were able to sleep through the flight.
- After booking a flight it’s time to make a plan. How are you getting to the airport? Do you need parking? Will you need car seats? I was unfamiliar with the airport I was flying solo with my baby and toddler so I did a little recon online to determine which parking garage would be closest to the terminal I was flying out of. Then I drove out there with my brother who happened to be in town and I checked out the parking garage. I decided which level I wanted to park on scoped out the area for luggage carts and even walked to the terminal with my 3-year-old to make sure I would know where I was going at 4 am.
OT Lens: This gave me the confidence boost that I needed by removing many of the unknown elements triggering my fears. It also gave my toddler a chance to get excited about our trip and clued him into our plan of action. As an OTA I would say this was probably the most important step in order to reduce any of my son’s anxiety. This trip allowed me to be regulated when I had little sleep and it was super early in the morning as we arrived at the airport which gave me the bandwidth to help my son stay emotionally regulated as well.
- The next step is packing. I am a Virgo so I love to pack well in advance and make sure everything is organized. I won’t get into what’s in my diaper bag in this blog post but I will say that it is incredibly helpful to have two diaper bags. There are so many affordable gently used bags on Poshmark and mercari. I packed my Itzy ritzy Boss Plus for the flight and set it aside while I used my TWELVElittle Peek-a-Boo Satchel for the week preceding my flight. Of course, this means you have to have double the supplies as well, two diaper rash creams, multiple sets of clothes lots of diapers, etc but it is worth it in my opinion. When I’ve chosen not to employ this method I’ve had to restock my diaper bag the night before when I’m already frazzled and always end up forgetting something important.
In terms of luggage, I knew that I wanted to carry as little as possible because my flight was too early to do curbside check-in (I knew because I asked during my recon mission). I was flying to the Bay Area where I have a lot of friends and family which meant that my parents were able to secure me two car seats and a stroller to use for the time I was in town. I also had a lot of random things at my mom’s house like Pjs, wipes, and some toys which meant I did not have to pack these things.
Amma’s Tip: If diapers and wipes are taking up too much space you can always use the Target app to order pick up at your destination.
I paid for two flight tickets so I could have taken 4 checked bags, two carry-ons, two personal items, and a breast pump bag. I was able to fly with 5 pieces and this was my setup.
Here is how I got from the parking garage to the check-in counter:
- Lap child strapped to me with an Ergobaby 360 All-Position Baby Carrier
- 3 year old on a JetKids by Stokke BedBox
- Beis 29-inch luggage
- Beis carry-on roller attached to the large roller with the built-in strap so that I only had to roll one bag
- Beis pumping bag sitting on top of the large roller
- Itzy Ritzy Boss Plus Backpack on my back
- My drive to the airport was fairly easy because I had already taken the time to know my route. I managed to get a family parking spot very close to the entrance which was a welcome blessing. I chose to roll my luggage and toddler on the Stokke to the terminal instead of paying $7 for a luggage cart. If you have car seats you will likely have to get a cart or do curbside check in.
- When I got to the Southwest ticket counter I was able to check in my bag with no problems because I had weighed it the night before using this scale. The Beis luggage also has an indicator that will let you know if your bag is over 50lbs. If you are flying with a lap child be sure to bring their birth certificate because Southwest has asked me for it every time I fly.
Hakeem was the BEST behaved toddler EVER, he rolled his Stokke through the parking lot to the terminal and even though security. He was panting as we wound through the queue, asking “Amma can you carry me?!” but I told him to just keep running and he did.
- Next came the dreaded TSA security checkpoint. Opening my bags to remove my laptop, iPad, liquids, and shoes while I had a baby strapped to me was physically challenging. I did my best to put my belongings back together after they came out of the x-ray machine. I looked around me and I did not see my toddler, I had a mild panic attack and began screaming his name. Then his little curly top caught my eye and I was able to wave him down and he was back at my side. I put his Stokke back together and had him sit on it so I could keep track of him. Bottom line… security is chaotic and you want to keep your little ones close at all times. TSA Pre-Check can help mitigate the chaos.
- I gathered my stuff and ran to the nearest family bathroom. I found a family restroom near the gate which allowed me to change baby ZaZa’s diaper and leave him strapped to the changing table while I took care of business. I made sure my toddler peed before the flight, but also put a pull-up on him because there was no way I was going to be able to fit in the airplane bathroom with two kids. The family bathrooms have enough space to allow for all your luggage and children while making it easy to freshen up with everything you need in one room.
Amma’s Tip: many airports have nursing rooms if you need a place to pump or feed the baby. Be sure to check for these online before your flight.
- While boarding I was able to get help from another parent who was kind enough to offer to put my carry-on overhead for me. I graciously accepted the help as it would have been dangerous to attempt lifting my luggage with a baby strapped to me. The Stokke fits under the seat and turns into a makeshift bed which is definitely useful for naps. After I wiped the seats and tray tables down with my Medela wipes I unhooked the carrier (required for takeoff and landing) and pulled out all of the snacks my son wanted to eat.
Amma’s Tip: I am not a fan of conventional formula but these Enfamil premade bottles are a lifesaver on flights. No need to find hot water to sterilize the formula and they are ready to go just make sure you order nipples as well. You can use those checks Enfamil sends in the mail to your local retailer if you want to get these for free.
- Time for take off! I also breastfed during takeoff and landing to help equalize pressure in baby ZaZa’s ears but drinking a bottle can also work if you are supplementing or bottle feeding. I also had these teething crackers to keep him occupied. During the flight, my boys definitely slept better on the 7 pm flight than they did on the 5 am flight because I woke them up in the middle of the night but they did sleep for about an hour and a half. Hakeem was content with looking out the window although I was able to fit some toys in his bed box just in case. Baby ZaZa was also a happy little baby as long as I was giving him my full attention which I did.
When we landed we went straight to the family restroom again then down to baggage claim and my dad was waiting for us outside. Little did I know I had forgotten my laptop but that kind of thing can happen when you are going through security with two kids and the wee hours of the morning. TSA kept it safe and I was able to have them ship it to me quickly. Overall flying solo with a baby and toddler was a good experience and If I needed to fly solo with the boys again I would.
Have you ever flown with your baby and toddler? What was your experience? Let me know in the comments below.